The Happiness Challenge

27/01/2013: Restarting

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 03:29:10 -0500

How can you be happy knowing that someone vehemently hates you? How can you be happy when you feel that you have been absolutely wronged?

03/01/2013: Biannuals

Fri, 04 Jan 2013 04:11:46 -0500

Lunch today was the biannual sushi and froyo tradition with Tony, but Gillian was able to join us today as well! I love seeing Middkids outside of Midd, especially in California. Previously Tony, and now Gillian, was the only Middkid I’d ever seen in Norcal (no, the airport doesn’t count) but I hope to expand on that number. Anyways, sushi was delicious and happened to be exactly what I was craving. I wish there were more sushi. I wish I could have sushi ALL THE TIME!!!! Froyo as well. Sushi and froyo are the two foods I could never ever ever get sick of, no matter how much I eat, and they’re even more delicious with such good company.

Tuesday, 01/01/2013: On Ice

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 02:33:41 -0500

Today I went ice skating with my brother, Nancy, Michelle, Sophia, and Rachel for our biannual skate/nom meetup! We went to Five Guys first; it was all of our first time eating there. I will tell you that it is inferior to In-n-Out. Five Guys is good but overwhelming. Exciting but overstimulating. You quickly get too much of it. THE DEFENDING CHAMPION OF THE WEST COAST BEST COAST STILL STANDS.

Anyways, skating was fantastic, as usual. Nancy is… well, she showed a lot of improvement today! By the end of the day she could stand on her own without touching the wall. YAY!!!! I am super proud. She also succeeded in making me fall - for the first time since before middle school! That is actually the most impressive because I never fall. I tripped over her when she fell while I was holding her hand and guiding her while skating.

I love these girls. To describe them, the term “riot” comes to mind.

Tuesday, 04/12/12: Proactivity

Wed, 05 Dec 2012 01:48:54 -0500

Making a conscious decision and effort to really like some body is the best thing ever.

Saturday, 01/12/12: Reconnecting Pt. 2

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 04:10:04 -0500

Today Timur and I talked online, and I got to catch up with him a bit and find up what he’s been up to.

It made - it made everything become, at least shortly, okay. It made everything come together and somehow it made this coming week more bearable.

Also, tonight I had a very soul-bearing, deep conversation with Tiffany and Matt, and while some of things we discussed troubled me - with good reason - I came out of realising that I will fight my biggest enemy - that is, myself - in order to be a good, decent, respectful girlfriend to my boyfriend. I will fight all of my insecurities and strange complexes and defenses and walls to love him.

Friday, 30/11/12: Fried Rice

Sat, 01 Dec 2012 05:37:19 -0500

Tonight I had early dinner with Joanne, and since we miss good ol’ home cooking and Taiwanese food, we decided to try and make our own version of Asian food by going to the stir-fry stations in Proctor! We made fried rice, of course. Previously my versions of fried rice had been okay but this time it was absolutely delicious. The secret? Ham. I always put ham in my fried rice at home when I cook for my brother and myself but I kept forgetting to go to the deli/sandwich part of the dining hall during the previous times I made fried rice. But adding ham makes the entire thing terrific. So the general, poorly-conducted, cheap college recipe (all ingredients found in the dining hall!) goes as follows:

Ingredients

Some ham
Some chopped onions
Some edamame
Some corn
Some mushrooms
2 eggs
Cooked/steamed brown rice
Soy sauce
Olive oil
Salt/pepper

Directions

1. Chop the mushrooms, onions, and ham into small pieces. Beat the two eggs and add some salt and pepper.

2. Put the pan on high heat. Smear the pan with olive oil and let the oil heat up. When the oil is hot, put the onions in and cook for 1-2 minutes, or until lightly golden brown.

3. Pour the beaten eggs into the pan. Cook, breaking up the egg so that no large solid mass forms, until the eggs appear as loose, wet scrambled egg. Add the ham and cook for 1 minute. Add a spray of soy sauce.

4. Add the edamame, corn, mushrooms, and rice. Add soy sauce and salt as desired (I usually like about 1/4 tsp salt). Cook until eggs are completely done and edamame are just browned.

5. EAT IT

Usually at home I would have liked to also add peas, carrots, and tomatoes, but we don’t have peas in our dining hall, the carrots are shaved strips and not diced as is what I would use, and it’s difficult to dice cherry tomatoes. Otherwise I like to add more vegetables as well. ANYWAYS - it was great to catch up with Joanne and eat delicious food! Tomorrow I’m doing stir-fry with Olivia - super excited!

Thursday, 29/11/12: Reconnecting

Fri, 30 Nov 2012 02:44:00 -0500

Today I talked with a very good friend with whom I havent really spoken since last semester. It started with casual teasing each other for that lack of communication and ended up into 1.5-hour Skype conversation about our semesters and significant others and plans for the next few years and how we want to travel together someday. And I know I’ve been busy - everyone’s busy, right? - but I have really missed talking to him. Something seems better and okay now that we talked. Not necessarily something significant or an overwhelmingly large part of my attitude, but - I don’t know. I am glad to catch up with him, simple as that, you know? I am glad that we are back in each others’ lives.

(He is, in fact, the one who encouraged me to update this blog again.)

Monday, 10/09/2012: Returning

Tue, 11 Sep 2012 00:11:17 -0400

I’m back at school. This year I’m in a different dorm building, finally, so that offers a breath of fresh air as well as a comforting sense of familiarity to returning to Middlebury.

I’m happier this year - still nervous very often, still highly concerned with schoolwork - but overall just glad. Glad to be back and not as negatively affected, I think, by things that would have bothered me magnificently the last two years. I am rather homesick for Taiwan, admittedly - that was a blast, so much independence and free time and good friends and beautiful scenery and wow, just breathtaking everything - but I am trying to focus on just being here - here and now, in the present. I think, at least in theory, that it is a colossal waste to spend the present reminiscing about the past or freaking out about the future, so I want to put that theory into practice now!

This year, I want to not only be happy and cheerful and determined, but I also want to help other people. I’m not nearly clever enough or popular enough or loud enough to make a gigantic difference in the grand gigantic universe, but that’s okay. I feel like if I can help Joanna keep her currently positive attitude about our school, if I can help Sarah and Blad feel included, if I can help Matt feel less stressed, if I can just make at least the individuals in my small group of friends happier, then I think that not only would my happiness also increase but that that would be a really good use of my time. Of course, it’s important to keep up my grades and everything - oh my godddd Biochem I WILL make you my bitch - but Chris McCandless, as he was dying, realised that happiness is only real when shared, right? Ideas don’t have limits, and you can’t quite be completely content if all your friends are having a terrible time. I want to help them be happy too.

Thursday, 12/07/2012: Belonging

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 12:23:54 -0400

I really love Taiwan. I love working at a hospital as well. This internship has more than just reaffirmed my desire to be a doctor - it has changed it into a calling. It’s now something I have to do, something that I know I’m made for. Everything that I have chosen and done in the past has directed me towards it. The feeling is something that I could talk about for hours without stopping, but for now it’s just good to know that I am on the right path, that I have chosen the right dream and that I have what it takes, I have that passion to be fearless and make it come true.

There are many things about Taiwan that are still strange to me and that I am still uncomfortable with, but I certainly am not totally at ease with all American things either even after nearly twenty years. Still, some things about Taiwan are just so familiar and right to me. It speaks to that background that I grew up in that was increasingly ignored as I got older. Taiwan is where family is. I love to just have family now - to think that I could have spent so much time, that I could have spent years with them if my parents had not raised me in the States! Still, I wonder if I would be tired of them and be ungrateful for them if I had grown up here. It very likely would happen; I tire of people far too easily, unfortunately. But being here feels so good. Weekends when I’m in Xindian, I can walk alone for fifteen minutes from my 1st aunt’s house where I stay - where I refer to as home here - to my grandparents’ house and just talk to them about things like my mother’s cancer treatments or about dyeing my hair, and just sit and watch stupid Taiwanese dramas that I don’t understand, and my god, it feels so good.

I think that I am starting to finally organise a personal concept of home inside my head. Some people have just one very definite home, and so things are simple for them. But I have many places that I can call home, many places for belonging. I am so lucky. There are people all over the globe who love me.

Eep!

Mon, 02 Jul 2012 12:22:51 -0400

I’m sorry I haven’t posted in forever; I’m abroad working in Taiwan and I’m spending far more time working in the hospital, walking around Taoyuan where I’m living, or touring and shopping and eating in Taipei with my roommate than in front of the computer. It’s been interesting, and sometimes terrifying, but I love it. Not enough to forget about America, but Taiwan is lovely and sometimes I wonder how my parents had the courage to leave. So much more respect for them now, for leaving everything to start anew. Here’s a picture of my program orientation group. GO GROUP 12!!

Thursday, 14/06/2012: Photobooth

Fri, 15 Jun 2012 07:08:00 -0400

This afternoon, Mom, Brian, and I had quite a bit of fun on Photobooth on my computer:

Wednesday, 13/06/2012: My Way of the Ninja!

Thu, 14 Jun 2012 07:30:35 -0400

This post will be exceptionally nerdy and pretty much all devoted to Kishimoto’s anime series Naruto Shippuden. I’ve warned you!

Just finished the Konoha Destruction arc and it was so good! At the end, the second half of episode 179, I was really reminded what got me into this series in the first place. All of the fighting and the complicated love triangles are cool and well-done, but what really keeps me watching is how inspiring it is. I know it’s just a show, but to each their own - it really inspires me and reminds me to not give up, to pick myself up and keep going, work hard, work hard and you’re going to get where you want to be.

And especially after this past semester, I really needed that. Naruto. Man, you haven’t failed me since I first started getting into the series in eighth grade, and now it’s been over seven years - never failing. That’s the entire series for you. Things will turn in your favor if you work hard enough.

One week till Asia! Oh my GOD!!!

Tuesday, 12/06/2012: Apologies and Running

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 07:14:49 -0400

I’m really sorry; I’ve been neglecting this blog lately. I wish I had some dramatic, heartfelt, and tear-inducing ~~excuse~~ reason, but the truth is that I’ve been watching anime again - specifically, Naruto Shippuden - and that’s all I’ve been doing, really. It’s been tumultuous just because it was my first fandom, the first series I was really attached to, and the one I care most about. I’ve just been doing that most of these days and consequently haven’t really had much to blog about, just staying home, keeping my mom company, doing chores, and watching anime. A pretty simple and boring lifestyle, but I love it.

I’m getting back into shape pretty quickly, though. I’ve been trying to go to the gym at nights with my brother and mom. The first time I went, I ran but could barely do just a fifth of what I could. The second time I ran almost twice as long and far as I did the first time, and now I am nearly back to the pace and distance I was at in my junior year in high school. It’s astounding and awesome how quickly I got back into shape! It’s incredible. I’m so glad I did cross-country during high school. It was one of the best decisions I ever made and offered a lot in terms of hard work, understanding, and camaraderie.

Saturday, 09/06/2012: Flea Markets

Sun, 10 Jun 2012 05:29:10 -0400

This morning my mom and I went to the local flea market. I’ve always loved flea markets, but today was especially fun, partly because I haven’t been to one since high school but also because the weather was so lovely. I put thought into my outfit today: tan tunic dress from Lucky Brand, Mom’s skinny red belt and Urban Outfitters collared shirt, and random earrings and sandals that I’ve always had. Dressing up nice really gives you a more cheerful start to the day!

We ended up getting a ton of fresh fruit, and I got new sunglasses! They’re the Hello Kitty sunglasses that you see in stores like Claire’s: black frames shaped in the wayfarers’ style with plastic white whiskers and red bow. I’ve seen these glasses online, where they were $10 plus shipping, and then at the mall where they were $15. Mine, however, were purchased for just $4! Win! Such a fun day. I’ve got to go to as many flea markets as I can while I’m in Norcal - which is only for another week and a half! Eek!

Friday, 09/06/2012: Ice Skating!

Sun, 10 Jun 2012 00:20:00 -0400

Sorry for not posting for two days! Our Internet was slain.

Yesterday I - finally, finally! - got the chance to go ice-skating with Michelle! A bunch of other girls as well as my brother went as well. Skating and friends - two of the best things ever, so obviously it was a great time. I didn’t realize that none of the other girls really know how to skate. I had thought that Michelle would be a beast at skating but she can’t go very quickly at all. Still, at least she didn’t have to hold on to the wall like Amy, Sophia, and Rachel had too ahaha. I love skating - I skate all the time at school, and taught my community friends how to skate, so it’s really my thing.

Afterwards we wandered around the empty mall, eating food and trying on glasses. Brian behaved so well yesterday, I was so happy: he hasn’t skated in over ten years but picked it up again really quickly, to the point where he was helping Michelle, Amy, and Sophia skate! Yesterday was just wonderful: I hung out with friends from home whom I haven’t been able to really see or talk to, and I got to skate. It was kind of a surprisingly pleasant balance between the even extroversion and introversion that result in my confusing ambiversion. Days like that are great on all imaginable levels.

Oh my God, almost forgot to add that I made 52 cupcakes yesterday! Half were normal chocolate cupcakes and the other half were vegan chocolate cupcakes; all had Nutella chocolate cloud frosting. They were delicious and light and airy and moist and beautiful and perfect and I was so proud of myself.

Wednesday, 06/06/2012: Vermont-Norcal Friends

Thu, 07 Jun 2012 04:48:08 -0400

Late morning and early afternoon today was spent with Tony, who I haven’t seen in nearly a year! He just got back from being abroad. It was awesome to catch up with him: he answered a lot of my questions about Taiwan and the culture there, and we brought each other up to speed on our respective friends and friends groups. He and I ate at La Vic’s and then at Yogurtland - both places that we haven’t been to in far too long! - and it was just such a characteristically NorCal, Bay Area kind of day! I’ve missed him so much!

Tony hasn’t yet put up the picture we took together outside Yogurtland, so here’s me at La Vic’s about to devour a giant burrito! Mexican food, I have missed you!

Photo

Thu, 07 Jun 2012 03:25:36 -0400

Tuesday, 05/06/2012: DIY Dresser Complete!

Wed, 06 Jun 2012 03:04:00 -0400

My old, ugly, destroyed-by-my-five-year-old-self dresser is now a beautiful masterpiece! I traced the front of each drawer onto an ancient, beat-up map, cut out each piece, and then Mod Podged each map piece onto the front of the dresser. So now, instead of having a color scheme appropriate for a kindergarten, my dresser looks super hipster and chic and clever because it has a map frontal face design. I’m so pleased with the result. I’ve been annoyed at how this dresser looks for ages, but now I love it. The DIY House-Remodelling is going super well!

Tonight I also went running at the gym… it feels good to exercise again. As in, it feels worse than most things to actually be running on a treadmill again but after that longass cardio workout, man, I feel great. I feel so relaxed. Exercise was one of the things recommended by Shawn Achor in his presentation on the Psychology of Happiness! By exercising, he said, you teach your mind very actively to understand that your behavior matters and can have excellent positive consequences. So the benefits of working out is twofold: I get in shape and I’m working towards long-term happiness!

Monday, 05/06/2012: Lazying Away

Tue, 05 Jun 2012 04:37:00 -0400

Today I was lazy. I slept and ate and slept and ate and went to the post office and then fabric shopping and then slept and ate and slept ate. I haven’t allowed myself to be lazy for so long - my breaks from studying usually consist of… studying for another class. Or perhaps running errands. Anyways, my Circadian rhythms are totally messed up but I think that all the sleep I did today was excellent in cleaning up all free radicals in my body. Sorry for nerding out - Joanna would have shouted at me for that - but that really is my way of rationalising things… and anyways, it’s just so nice to do nothing for once!

At any rate, I’ve been planning out my week and I’m so excited! I’m about to get busy, but in a really fun way. As nice as it is to be unabashedly lazy, I can’t live without schedules and lots of pressing things to do. I’m one of those.

Sunday, 04/06/2012: Synesthesia

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 05:11:38 -0400

In preparation of my trip to and job in Taiwan, I’ve been (supposedly) learning Mandarin characters. I can converse very fluently but my reading and writing are both essentially nonexistent. Anyways, today I was going over bopomofo, the alphabet-like system of lettering that Taiwanese people generally use, and suddenly it all came back to me - I remember these words very well, even though I haven’t looked at them in over ten years, because nearly every single character is its specific color. ㄋ is cream-colored, ㄟ is unbearably hot pink, ㄓ is an orangy-gold, and ㄜ is light tannish - just to name a few! This doesn’t happen with English alphabet letters, but it’s also important to realize that bopomofo is the first written script I’d ever learned as a kid, before I learned how to read English or music. It’s so interesting! I didn’t know that my synesthesia applied to this grapheme as well. It blew my mind for several hours today. Now this is a cool use for synesthesia! This kind I like!